Child Adoption: 3 Emotional Aspects Of The Process That Prospective Adoptive Parents Should Keep In Mind
Adoption is a wonderful way to form a family and give a child a home that he or she otherwise could not have. However, it isn't a process that is extremely easy. There will be challenges along the way. Before a decision is made regarding the adoption process, it is important to understand some of the emotional issues that you may encounter as you move forward:
1. Adoption Always Begins with a Loss.
Adoption is a great thing, and it is something that should be celebrated. However, it is crucial that you understand that the reason you have a child to adopt is because someone didn't want or couldn't take care of the child. Therefore, that child has experienced a loss – his or her biological family. Younger children may not experience the feeling of loss early on, although it can develop later on in life.
Older kids who are adopted may lash out at you because of their profound loss and not knowing how to successfully deal with it. Some older kids may stay closer to you due to their feeling of loss, as they are scared to achieve independence. All in all, you need to make sure that your child knows that, at the end of the day, you love them, you are committed to them and that they are an important piece of the entire family. Without them, the family would not be the same.
2. Not Everyone Will Understand Your Position.
To some, love will supersede biology any day. If you're considering adopting, then this is probably you. You will treat your child and feel as if he or she is your very own flesh and blood. However, it is vital that you understand everyone may not see it this way – or at least not at first. Some people, not all, can be particularly insensitive regarding adoption, and that's okay. Your business is not their business. Just remember that family connections and bonds can be formed in numerous ways and sharing the same biology is not a prerequisite. The same color of skin and the same facial features are not necessary to love a child with all of your heart and soul. If others can't understand that, then that's their problem.
3. You May Need Help If You Adopt Outside Of Your Own Race.
Some individuals who decide to adopt will not adopt a child here within the U.S. Instead, they will adopt a child from another country, such as China, Ethiopia, South Korea and Ukraine. While this is ultimately a great cause and a way to really and truly feel like you are making a difference in a child's life, you will want to consider allowing your child to have access to an adult of his or her own race and ethnic background. Sure, they may be growing up in America and under your roof, but this shouldn't mean that they have to give up their background. It is important that they know where they came from.
If adoption is something that you are seriously considering, these three pieces of advice are vital. Make sure to speak to a licensed adoption agency, like A Child's Dream, for more information on the adoption process.